Hello and welcome to the Aligned Achiever podcast. I’m your host, Siobhan Barnes, and this episode is for every woman who’s ever wandered; Am I earning enough? Am I less successful because I’m not making what I used to? or how can I earn more?

Today, we’re diving into something that runs deep for so many of us, the belief that our price for our services, if you’re an entrepreneur, or your salary as a corporate professional, or your income in general, defines our worth. 

We’re going to explore why this belief can keep you stuck, the difference between price and worth and how to reclaim your inherent value, and how owning your worth might actually lead you to ask for more, not less. 

In this episode, I want to support you to unhook from the belief that you need to earn more to be more and to reroute into who you already are.

Now, I have to be honest with you, this is something that I have personally juggled and struggled with. In my corporate career, I earned really good money and still felt like I wasn’t good enough, and in my business, there have been cycles and seasons where it hasn’t been all rosy and sunshine and butterflies. 

And what I see, particularly for women, is money can be such a tricky topic, and when we’re talking of the topic of careers, obviously we want to be in careers that are fulfilling, sustainable, that allow us to share our gifts in the world, but that also allow us to afford the things in life that we want right? To be able to look after our health and join that yoga studio or go to that gym, or to be able to fund that holiday or trip, to be able to have that experience and really switch off from the day to day. 

And so money and worth is such a big topic that comes up in my one on one work with women, and also in Pivot Pathfinders. Which we speak about, because when we’re so focused on money, money, money, money, money, it can hold us back from really getting clear on, wait, hang on a minute, what are we actually optimizing for? Because sometimes optimizing just for money alone isn’t the answer, and ultimately, what we really want is to make sure that, of course, we are being sensible and we have a baseline level of safety and security. But sometimes being too safe, too secure can stifle going for those bigger dreams or going for that bigger level impact. 

So I really want to dive into this today, because specifically in the corporate world, we’re often taught, either explicitly or subtly, that your value is what’s in your paycheck, promotions, bonuses, title bumps, they all reinforce the idea that more money equals more value. And this was very true in my real estate career. 

I remember, you know, we had targets to hit every year in terms of bringing in revenue into the business, and then our bonuses would be commensurate with how much we hit that or exceeded that. And the thing is, it trains us to tie our identity to our income, i.e., I’m a person who can sell, I’m worth it, you know, or I am really good at doing XYZ, which leads to this amount of business. So that must mean I’m really good. 

And look, there’s nothing wrong with acknowledging when you’re good at something, but what the challenge is is when there are moments when perhaps you don’t hit a certain target, or maybe you don’t find yourself earning as much as you want to, then we can make that a personal attack on us, like we are wrong. Something is wrong with us. 

You know, we might inside, have a fear that, you know, what does it say about me? If I earn less? Am I going backwards? Will people respect me? Oh my gosh, people know I didn’t hit my target. And it’s like this price / worth myth at play, that the idea that your income or pricing is a measure of your inherent value, it really, really is not. 

I’ll give you an example of this. Obviously, you know, I’m a coach, and I work in this world, and for me, shifting from corporate to this particular world, it was quite confronting, because you had coaches who were charging very, very little, and you had coaches that were charging so much, I’m talking like six figures for three months of coaching, and, you know, they’re even I bought into the illusion that, oh, if that person’s charging more, that must mean that they’re so much better at what they do. 

Yes, of course, if you have experience and you can deliver the result, then absolutely, you know, you charge and you do your thing. But again, I fell into the trap of like, well, they must be more valuable as a coach, because they can do that. They can charge at that level. 

But the thing is, like, price is an external figure. It’s shaped by a number of things, market forces, supply and demand, negotiation, budgets, bias and sometimes even guesswork. Worth, on the other hand, that’s internal. It’s your lived experience. It’s your wisdom, your presence, your integrity, your compassion, your essence. Prices can fluctuate. Right? Just depending on market demand, but worth is constant. 

So think about it, if Beyonce charged $10 for a concert ticket, would her worth drop? No, because she is inherently worthy, she might want to charge $10 for a concert. If someone doesn’t buy a diamond, does the diamond stop being valuable? Of course not. It will be bought at a future point in time, and it will command a certain price. So again, your salary, your rates, your job title. They’re reflections of your economic environment, not of your soul’s inherent value. 

You are worthy and whole and enough, just as you are.

And I think sometimes, you know, we can talk about net worth and personal worth, and that can very much get conflated with our self worth, which can be very, very dangerous, because when you tie your worth to how much you earn, you’re always going to be looking over your shoulder, right? Like, if you invest, the stock market is going up and down, you’re figuring out what you want to do with your promotions. That’s not, you know, up to you. There are other, you know, corporate politics at play.

And it can mean that you are on this roller coaster of needing that external validation and external markers to prove that you are enough and to prove that you’re inherently worthy. So please, please, please, if there’s one thing you take from this episode, know that your price and your worth are very separate, and your worth as a human being is really, really invaluable. 

Here’s the tough part. Women in particular, I believe, are socialized to prove their value and earn their place, and we can internalize this myth really deeply. Many women I support in Pivot Pathfinders feel stuck in the golden, handcuffed jobs, right? They’re burnt out, but they’re afraid to mix things up and try something new, because the money is good, or they’re wanting a pivot, but they’re afraid of what a potential pay cut would mean. 

Maybe they’re dreaming of entrepreneurship or non-profit work, but afraid that losing the status of having a big income and that big paycheck, what that would mean? And yes, these are real considerations. Money is important, but when the fear of earning less or being less, then we have a problem. 

You are not your salary. I have to say as well, oftentimes, when we think about making a tweak or something’s not working, it doesn’t actually require you to do a complete 180 and to have to quit your job or take a pay cut. Oftentimes, we can optimize in smaller ways as well. So the golden handcuffs, I see it like that first precursor to be like, well, I can’t entertain anything different, because I’ve got to earn this income and pay my mortgage, so I’m not going to think about anything else. There’s no other solution here.

I can’t just quit my job and start a business and that black and white thinking, that pendulum swing of either or. I work in a successful corporate job or risk it all and do something else is very dangerous, and that’s why I created Pivot Pathfinders so that you can start to slowly test dip your toe in the water, and also see what actually is the real problem that you need to start fixing or start addressing, to create more peace, a little bit more space in your day, and to be able to see what the alternatives are that are available to you. 

So how do we begin to shift this myth that your worth is tied to how much you earn?

Well, you can ask yourself a few things, if my salary didn’t define my success, what would right? So if you weren’t focused on, okay, I need to earn, you know, get a whatever percentage pay rise next year. What would actually matter? Would it be the quality of work that you deliver? Would it be the clients and the caliber of clients that you work with? Would it be the fact that you actually have flexibility to take your kids to school and to be there for assembly or sports day if you want to what would define success? What do I offer that can’t be measured in dollars, right? So often, this is something that gets really miss-evaluated. How should I say this like mistreated.

And I think as women, particularly if you’re older, this can be one like, what do you offer that can’t be measured in dollars? So, you know, for any of the mums who are taking a career break or have chosen to focus on family, but really struggling with not earning an income, this one’s for you. 

If you don’t earn an income, what else are you offering that can’t be measured in dollars? 

Maybe that presence with your kids while they’re young babies is more valuable than the paycheck you’re bringing in. Maybe the fact that you are able to take them to their doctor’s appointments and to be there while they’re going through something difficult, that is something of value. And I tell you what it 100% is as I say this, I’m like, Oh, this one speaks so true to me. 

I remember those moments when my kids were really, really young and kind of had to hit more pause on the income generating activities, and it’s like, oh, that self worth piece really comes up. 

Another question you can ask yourself is, where am I equating being paid more with being better? Is that true? 

You know, as I said, in the coaching world, there’s so many examples of like, you have to charge high ticket. And obviously you price according to what’s valuable. But I come back to, yes, you know, accessibility, but also affordability, and, you know, matching the level of work and the level of transformation that’s being delivered. 

So sometimes more is not more, you know. So how you begin to unhook from the myth that your worth is dependent on what you earn is to listen to lead to see the patterns that other miss, others miss, and to, you know, come back to the fact that you’ve got all these great qualities. Maybe you guide with empathy, maybe you listen really well. These are priceless qualities that don’t always show up on a pay stub. 

So instead of tracking your income, you can start tracking your impact, so you can write down wins rather than, you know this much. Or, you know, I achieved x, my idea reshaped the team’s entire workflow, or my presence really calmed a tense meeting today, or I supported my client through burnout. These are real, tangible contributions, and it’s not just about what you earn. 

And so if you’ve really struggled to feel that inner worthiness, you can try a little grounding practice. You can do this with me now, actually, if you’re not driving, you can do this. If you’re, you know, walking around, you can do this though. You place a hand on your heart and say, my value is not up for negotiation. I am enough. I bring value by being myself. My value is not up for negotiation. I am enough. I bring value by being myself. Unlocking your worth from your income doesn’t mean as well that money doesn’t matter. 

So yes, your value is not up for negotiation. You are enough as you are. You bring value just as you are.

When you are deeply rooted in your worth, you’re actually in a stronger place to be able to get clear on, okay, how much should I be asking for here? And in some cases, it is asking for more, right? To negotiate your salary, to raise your rates, to charge what your worth work is truly worth, not what you think people will pay, because it’s no longer about proving anything. It’s about honoring your time, your energy and your gifts. 

And sometimes the most powerful act of reclaiming your worth is asking for more, and other times it’s stepping away from the money to choose peace, purpose or possibility, both can be true. 

So this price / worth confusion is one of the biggest blockers I see in women who want to pivot, because when your identity is tied to your paycheck, any change feels like a loss. But here’s the truth, you can make a pivot and still be worthy, even if the salary shifts, even if people don’t get it, even if it’s not linear. In fact, most women I work with eventually earn more because they’re doing aligned, energizing work that they’re proud to charge for. And the real pivot is internal, from proving your worth to actually living it. 

So as we wrap up, I invite you to reflect on a few questions. 

Number one, where are you equating your income with your identity?

Number two, where are you undercharging or under earning or under asking because of internal doubts? 

And three, what would be possible if you knew deep in your bones that you are already enough?

And I’ll post these questions over on the show notes so that you can come and check it out, because I know it could be tricky. Some of you have said that when you’re listening to this while you’re walking, it can be hard. So you can just come on over to the show notes over at siobhanbarnes.com/136, to get those questions and just know that your worth is not up for debate from that place of grounded knowing you can make aligned decisions with money, with power and with peace.

And if this episode resonated and you’re navigating a pivot or a career decision, I’d love to invite you to explore the Pivot Pathfinders collective, we’re opening up the doors to invite more women in, and it’s the space where we work on this very thing. So yes, we look at how you can pivot externally, but so much of it is that internal work of unhooking from external metrics and creating a path that’s successful and fulfilling. 

You can find all the details over in the show notes, over at siobhanbarnes.com/136 but just feel free to send me a DM on Instagram, on LinkedIn with pivot, and I’ll send you all the details. 

So thank you so much for tuning in, and just remember, you’re valuable. You’re worthy, just as you are, and you are here for a reason beyond merely hustling, grinding and merely surviving, you matter.