Siobhan Barnes 0:01
Hello and welcome to the Aligned Achiever podcast. I am Siobhan Barnes, and recording this after being away for a summer holiday, I very gratefully went away this year with my family. We do this every summer, and we take three weeks away. It’s a very important part of our calendars that we block out, and this year we went to Copenhagen to visit one of my best friends that I grew up with here in Hong Kong, and us four girls were a group of four girls that grew up here. Our families all reunited, and we, for the first time, got to have a big reunion with all the kids in tow, and the last time I saw these four ladies all together was 11 years ago. So it was so so special. And after that, I went to France for a couple of weeks with my family, which was incredible. Yes, there was the heat wave, crazy coming from Hong Kong because we’re really used to aircon, but it really inspired me for this episode to talk about what your career can look like when you actually leave the office, when you step away from your routine, and have the spaciousness to take a break. Now, obviously, we can’t always take a three-week holiday. I know that’s super luxy and really fortunate, but we can take even a day off or an afternoon off or something. So this episode is really for you in speaking to the benefits of what can happen when you take time away, rather than focusing on the length of time that I took, I encourage you to think about the points that I make here, because you can actually be quote unquote productive with your summer when you take a break in a way that is counterintuitive. So let me share with you some of the things that I learned being away and how I am seeing the benefit of that in my own life and in my own business. So the first thing that’s really powerful when you take time away and give yourself permission to do that is that you allow yourself to give yourself your nervous system evidence that it’s safe to downshift and to change gears. So typically, when you go away after the initial stress, in my case, to get out the door and make sure everything’s sorted, when you actually are able to unpack your bag, set yourself down, you’re in a spot for a little while. That’s when that change of scenery, that slower pace, because there’s no usual thing that you’ve got to get to or thing that needs to get done. That’s when you know the decisions can start to become a little bit easier and less high stakes. Right? It’s not how should I respond to that email. It’s where do I want to go for dinner tonight, and it just shifts the energy and teaches your body something that the routine that you have rarely gets the chance to, and that’s that it can come off high alert, and nothing is going to fall apart. And that’s not just rest; it’s actually a practice. So oftentimes with my clients, we talk about how do we build the capacity to hold a lot, how do we navigate change in this uncertain world? And I bring a lot of nervous system and embodiment work into what I teach and coach on. And it’s not about being perfectly regulated all the time. the The actual point is to be able to handle the the spikes, to go from fight flight right and freeze into regulation, and to be able to navigate the changes around that. So to be kind of flexible, and it’s a practice, and every day at a genuinely different pace when you’re on holiday is a rehearsal for what regulated actually feels like in your body, which matters because you can’t choose from a calm and regulated place if you’ve never actually felt it. So when you’re on holiday, it can actually be easier to access longer periods, longer stints of regulation, of being calm, of being relaxed, and from that place, different ideas can come through. You’re not just doing the routine, so you might have a creative insight into, hey, I have an idea. God, it wouldn’t it be great to for me when I went to France?

Siobhan Barnes 4:34
Maybe I should learn French, or hmm, I live in Hong Kong, so maybe I should just focus on my Cantonese first, or Mandarin. And anyway, my point is different ideas and different things can come through because you’re in a different state, and that’s the rewire phase that I I work with in my with my clients in Pivot Pathfinders, which is the module first section of that program where we are building practices to get you into that regulator. State so that you can see different things. Albert Einstein famously said that you can’t solve a problem at the same level of consciousness that created it, and so consciousness can also tie in with your state, which ties in with your nervous system. And when you’re on holiday, you’re in a different state, a different nervous system, and different things can come through, so it’s not productive. And I’m doing air quotes here in a traditional sense, but it is useful in that you’re not just doing something mind-based; you’re doing something body-based. And when you’re in that state, the thinking that follows, the ideas that come, they can become clearer and more steady, so downshifting longer periods of regulation are super helpful to your body. Number one, just to teach it what it actually feels like, and number two, to know that you know you deserve to be able to feel good. And what I realized when I was away on holiday, even though I I practice this. I teach this. I this is something that I I’m conscious of. I still find myself wound up in tight patterns of stress or anxiety and needing to get things done, and the space away really helped me to see just how much because there’s contrast, right? There’s contrast with the day to day. Because when you’re swimming in it every day, it can be start again. When you’re swimming in it every day, you can feel very normal and normalized, and you don’t even realize it’s a thing. So the contrast is what can help. The second thing that can be a benefit when you take some time off is that the distance gives you something to measure against. So this is really about the contrast piece that I mentioned here, and I’ll take it a bit deeper with this point. When the pace is so constant, it reads as normal. A week or two or three of a different rhythm gives you a reference point that you possibly haven’t had in months, and that’s where good data can show up, right? When I was on holiday with my my besties, we got to have a chat to be like, “Hey, how how is everything? And in that distance and that space, it’s like, yeah, okay, how is everything? Let’s have a different conversation. Like, what is working? What isn’t working so well? And so that’s the benefit of having that contrast, because then you can actually see what is working and what’s not. So that contrast is a real tool to support you. The third thing is the space and being somewhere else, perhaps speaking a foreign language, it it shifts the identity roles and who you think you are in the world, so that you can actually be something different. Now, I’m a mum, so for the mums out there that are like, yeah, but my kids are still asking me about snacks, and I still got to prepare food or do the laundry. Of course, I’m I’m not negating that, but I am saying that you get to be a different person, right? Like you’re you’re able to not have to be the team leader managing managing your weekly meeting. You’re able to have a conversation, have the time and space to have a conversation with the fishmonger or the the person who’s selling you vegetables, and just slow down and actually embody a different identity, a different energy, a different aspect of you that you don’t normally embody in your day to day. And so, the space actually lets you. It’s almost like trying on a new pair of clothes and just seeing who you really are, and that can really come through. And typically, when you’re on holiday, there’s that spaciousness as well in terms of unstructured time, and that can be quite unfamiliar, right?

Siobhan Barnes 8:52
Because I’m guessing if you’re working a nine to five, like your your calendar’s full and you’re back to back and you’re rushing from thing to thing. But when you have that spaciousness, you can you can read a book which opens you up to a new world and gets you thinking. You can you can do something that you want just for the pleasure of it, not because it’s on your to do list. For me, on holiday, one of the greatest pleasures was being able to read. It was phenomenal, and I read a few books. I read Emma Greene, starting with you book, which I really loved. I also read Adyashanti, the the end of your world, which ties in with my body mind maturation coaching that I’m I’m studying in at the moment, and also Dawn French’s book enough, which I really enjoyed. It really got me thinking about time and age and how I want to use my time and and live live life well, and I’m also I’ve got the next one I’ve got on my list. I can’t remember the name, but it’s a it’s a fictional book which I’m enjoying. And if I remember it, I’ll pop it in the show notes if you’re interested and want to check it out. So when you have the space, you’re able to. Actually, explore more of you, right? More of you, whether that’s a conversation that you’re having, or more of you, when it comes to the time that you have. And if you’re telling me, if you’re thinking, re-listening to this, and you’re thinking, actually, no, I can’t do that, then that in and of itself tells you something. Who are you being on holiday? Are you still being the person that needs to control, that needs to be on top of everything, that’s prioritizing everybody else, because that in and of itself is evidence of a broader pattern that might be running your actions and your behaviors. And if you can’t carve out time for yourself on holiday, when will you? And I’m not saying that as a judgment at all, but an opportunity to reflect. So those are the three things that I really saw as the benefits of taking time away. And I’ve come back, and I would say I’m rested, but jet lag and being sick coming back has not meant that. But there’s a. a feeling of rejuvenation that is there. Like my cup is more full. We went hiking. We went biking. We had fresh produce and ate outside al fresco dining. Oh my gosh, one of my most favorite things in the world. And I got to see you know friends from school that really filled me up, and these things really mattered. And so I talk about seasons a lot in the podcast. And you know, we can’t always have our foot on the accelerator, to use a car analogy, all the time. We just we’ll just burn out. And as I said, I read that book, Dawn French’s book enough, and it got me thinking about what is life like. What is the purpose? Of course, if you’re listening to this, you’re ambitious and you want to achieve. And I’m like you; I’ve got some ambitions and things that I want to do. But if we’re not careful, we miss the important stuff. We miss the stuff around spending time with our kids. We miss the things around like actually letting yourself read a good book while feeling the sun on your face, sweating buckets at the same time. But you know these are the things that really matter. And so I wanted to record this whilst it was fresh on my mind, and also honestly as a reminder for myself because I know when school starts and things ramp up. the The tendency to pick up that pace is there, and I’m not making that wrong because that will be the season for more intensity. But there’s been a real benefit to like just filling up the cup, taking a little bit of a rest, so that I have the energy to move forward. And so those are the three things that I think are beneficial from a productivity perspective. Right, you give your nervous system evidence that it’s safe to downshift, and you get to experience it and let creative ideas come through.

Siobhan Barnes 12:50
Secondly, the distance it gives you something to contrast against and see what’s working, what’s not, and then finally, that space lets you really come back to who you are, like what you want to do, how you naturally communicate when you’re not stressed or overwhelmed, or I have a million things to do, and that in and of itself can serve a purpose with that season of supporting you for that next sprint that you’ve got coming up. So I wanted to share that with you. To number one, give you permission that it’s okay to take a break, but secondly, to frame your breaks as strategically helpful. Yes, to be more productive, to be more intentional with your career for sure, but more importantly, to just stop and smell the roses and actually enjoy your life as well. I get that it’s not always possible to take three weeks off, and the point is not the length of time that you take. Rather, it’s giving yourself the permission to take the time that you need to feel rested and restored. And so, I hope that this is a permission slip for you to book that trip. Ideally, you go somewhere else just for that change of scene and change of pace. But equally, if it’s a staycation or working from a coffee shop, that can really serve you too. I’m a huge fan of staycations. I do them, I would say once a year, sometimes more, and even that can be super helpful just to have alone time, just to breathe and be. So let this be a permission slip. Come and share with me where you went on holiday. I will share the books that I read over in the show notes over at siobhanbarnes.com forward slash 155 And if you have any book recommendations, hit me up as well. I’m always looking for some good ones. Thank you so much for tuning in, and please remember you are here for a reason beyond merely hustling, grinding, and merely surviving. You matter.