Hello and welcome to the aligned achiever podcast. 

I’m your host, Siobhan Barnes and thrilled that you’re tuning in to this podcast where we’re exploring how professional women can build careers and lives that feel fulfilling and successful and something that is uniquely their own. 

So today I’m talking about something that has been transformative for me and so many women that I’ve worked with, and I’ll be honest to share that this is something that I still have to actively work on in order to be able to feel like I’m making strides towards the right goals, and feeling like I have the spaciousness, the energy and the momentum to take action on those projects that allow me to feel fulfilled and successful, and that is the power of the pause. 

So if you’re feeling stuck, overwhelmed or unsure about your next career step, this is the episode for you today. 

We’re diving into why pausing something that can feel quite counterintuitive in our fast paced world is actually one of the most powerful tools you can use to regain clarity and take control of your career and your life. And I’m going to be sharing a little bit about a retreat that I am co-hosting with Elaine champion, who was on the podcast in last week’s episode, episode 119, so if you haven’t checked out that episode, I highly recommend that you go and check that out, because Elaine is a fellow coach who’s very passionate about supporting women on their own career journeys. And I’ll be sharing a bit more about that today. 

We’re co-running the retreat together here in Hong Kong, and it’s specifically for professional women who are ready to break the cycle and design their path forward. But whether you’re local to Hong Kong or you’re in Asia, Australia, New Zealand, somewhere, and you fancy flying to Hong Kong, or you’re part of my international audience that can’t quite make it over here in January, I promise that today you’re going to walk away from this episode with some actionable insights that can help you to create your own pause no matter where you are in your life, your work, your location, and to create that space that you need for clarity. So without further ado, let’s dive in. 

So what we’re going to cover today is why we struggle to pause, what pausing can do for your career, and some simple ways to pause and gain clarity. And a little bit of a recap on what your next action steps are to create your own pause, to get the clarity that you’re looking for. But we’ve got to start with the struggle, right? The struggle is real. 

Pausing can be really, really hard, especially for women in demanding careers, and I’ll be honest, as I said, this is an area that I am focusing on in my own life. I spoke about this with my own coach about how, you know, how do I find the time to pause, get strategic and really think about where I’m going when the day to day can feel so so busy. You know, at the moment, I am in the process of building out the pivot Pathfinders collective, which is a community to support women to navigate their own career pivots, and that’s requiring me to pull together a lot of content. Do community calls? Be in the community forum to be able to support those amazing women in there, and that is a focus for me. And of course, I’ve got my one on one clients.I’ve got this retreat. I’m running with Elaine and various other things, and I’m a mom of three, and got the usual life stuff happening. So I share that context with you, because I’m in it with you. 

And I think as women, we tend to have a lot more on our plates. It’s, you know, no surprise that women do more of the caregiving, the caretaking, the emotional labour, not just at home, but in the workplace. And so it can be really difficult to say, hey, take a pause when you’re really, really busy. 

You know, there’s number one, the pressure to always be productive. 

Society has conditioned us to believe that our worth is tied to how much we achieve. 

So when we pause, it can feel like we’re being lazy or we’re falling behind. 

Secondly, why we struggle to pause is that there’s fear, you know? If you do feel stuck in your life and career, it’s easier to stay busy than to stop and reflect. Why is that? Because when you slow down, that means that you have to face the uncomfortable truth that something isn’t working. 

And I often say this, once you know something, you can’t unknow it. You have to do something about it. 

So pausing can be a really difficult thing to do, because number one, we’re hardwired to be productive, but we also don’t want to face that when we do slow down. 

So the thing that I want you to know is that constant busyness is the thing that keeps you stuck. It can feel productive, it can feel like you’re trying to move forward, but it doesn’t move you anywhere closer to your ideal life and career. It’s like running on a hamster wheel. You’re exerting all this energy, but you’re not actually moving forward. 

So the core mindset shift that I want you to take away from today’s episode is that pausing doesn’t mean you’re being unproductive.

In fact, it’s the most productive thing that you can do, because it allows you to step back and evaluate what’s working and what’s not, and to figure out where it is that you really want to go.

On this podcast, I bring in the analogy of, you know, being an athlete. Athletes train. They eat well, but they also rest well. They know they need time to recover, because continually moving doesn’t move the needle in terms of performance. Taking active rest, taking strategic resets are really, really important. So know that it’s hard to pause, but know that it’s really, really important. 

Which leads me into point two, what can pausing do for your career? What happens when you call when you pause? 

Well, let me share a quick story from my work with a client. 

So I was working with a client recently in a very senior leadership role. She was constantly juggling these deadlines, managing a larger team, going through an org restructure, and in charge of bringing together a bit of cohesiveness to the team. And she felt completely stuck, exhausted and unsure if she even wanted to stay in the industry and whether she was cut out for it, but she couldn’t see a way out. 

And when we started working to get together, the first thing I had her do was to pause for her. That meant carving out 30 minutes a week to journal about what was draining her energy and what brought her joy? It was about walking her dog so that she could have a bit of space and time to be in nature and to connect with, you know, her fur baby that she loved and over time, that practice gave her the clarity to see that actually she wasn’t stuck in her career. She was simply stuck in a role that no longer aligned with her values, and with that clarity, she made small changes that eventually led to a bigger pivot, one that felt energising and aligned. 

So that’s the power of pausing, and sometimes it’s not just one big pause, right? You don’t necessarily have to take a sabbatical for three months, or, you know, go to India to meditate in an ashram, or take a week off and go on a retreat. 

Sometimes, pausing can be a regular practice in your weekly day to day, and sometimes it can be taking a day out for yourself. This is the power of pausing, like my client, it creates space for awareness, which is the foundation for any meaningful career shift. And the beauty of pausing is that you you quieten down other people’s voices, other people’s noises, other people’s perspectives, and you can hear yourself, which is so important you really need to take some time out to hear yourself think, because if you’re anything like my clients, you’re probably the person who does a lot of things for other people. So just know that you don’t have to take a big, six month sabbatical, three month sabbatical to experience these benefits. Even small, intentional pauses can create massive, massive shifts.

So I hope that by now, you can see the power of pause, and what it can do for your career. 

So let me give you some examples of how you might want to begin to think about pausing.

How you might want to bring this into your own life and your own career right now, because maybe you are in a busy season and you don’t have a lot of time, or maybe you are in a season where you’re like, you know what? Things are winding down for Christmas, I know that I can set some time aside over the winter break, and I can make sure I prioritise myself. 

So I want to give you three simple ideas that you can take away and implement in your own life after today’s episode. 

So the first way that you can pause and get clarity is by journaling. 

And look, I’m not going to teach you anything revolutionary, but something that is simple and profound. So journaling is a practice where you simply have a free, free stream of consciousness. You write out what’s in your head, but I’m going to give you two questions that you can ponder and reflect on in your journaling if you need a little bit more structure. So the invitation here is to take 10 minutes to reflect on two questions. 

First question, what’s draining me?

Second question, what’s energising me?

So by answering these two questions on a daily or twice weekly or once a week basis, you’ll be able to identify patterns that might not be obvious in the day to day hustle. And what you can do is, after a few weeks, after a few months, you can start to look at that book, or, you know, whatever it is that you’re writing your answers on, and start to notice, are there any themes, what is emerging for you? And you’re welcome to continue a free stream of consciousness, to write your answers to whatever question you’re asking, or just to get anything out of your head and onto paper. This can be really, really helpful. So that’s option number one. 

Option number two is to actually go out for a walk, and not just any walk, preferably a silent walk. 

And if you can, a walk in nature, Mother Nature knows how to do her thing every time I go for a walk and it’s anywhere near some trees, anywhere near a body of water. For me, I love mountains. Here in Hong Kong, we’re very blessed to have lots of different mountains. I’d get my answers. So my invitation for you is to think about how might you incorporate a walk into your routine, and the reason why I say a silent walk is that, again, we can want to maximise that time and listen to a podcast, or, you know, talk to a friend, or, you know, catch up on audio messages. But the invitation here is actually not to, not to listen to anything and let your mind wander. 

You know, the other day, I saw a meme come up on Instagram. I don’t know if it’s because I clicked this reel about whether you know, if you’re a millennial, you prefer the 90s music or the 2000s music. But suddenly I’m getting all these memes about, you know, what life was like as a teenager growing up. And it really brings me back to the truth, which was, you know, growing up as a teenager. I’m giving away my age. I’m 41 at the time of recording. There wasn’t a phone. There was like, dial up internet that the whole family had to use. We had landlines. There was, you know, mindfulness was a real thing because that was what we had to deal with, right? We didn’t have this in instant demand kind of culture, and we could let our mind wander. If we were on the bus, we weren’t checking our phones, we were looking out the window, we were chatting to a friend. 

So silent walks can be really helpful to go back to that time where you let your brain rest, where you let your mind wander, and you’ll be amazed at the insights that come up when you give yourself this space. 

For me, when I go for a walk, I like to set an intention. I might have a problem or a question that I’m asking myself, and I set the intention to get clarity on it. And that’s actually where the birthplace of this community, the Pivot Pathfinders Collective, came about. I was on this walk, and I was thinking like, How can I, you know, be of service? How can I best, best make a difference to professional women? I have a real calling in this area. And the ideas dropped in from that walk. So for you, experiment, test it out. How can you be in nature? And there’s something about not feeding your mind with information and to-do’s that can really help. And actually listening to your own voice is such a gift. 

Okay, third idea for you is to give yourself the opportunity to have a micro break throughout your day.

So if you are in a really busy season of your life, I know that this can be the year end for a lot of people. It can be a lot of closing out for the year and strategy planning for the next year. 

So if you’re in a really busy season, this might be for you, and the recommendation is just to take one to two minutes in your day, whether that’s when you come back to your desk after lunch, or you’ve got like, 30 minutes in between meetings, just to take two minutes to take a few deep breaths and check in with yourself. Literally, you can go on Insight Timer, Headspace, Calm App, whatever it is that you want, even a YouTube video, although the adverts can butt in, which can be a bit annoying, but just taking one to two minutes just to simply breathe and to check in with yourself. You don’t even have to listen to something. 

Maybe it’s just a simple box breathing, you know, in for four, hold for four, out for four, hold for four, and just doing that for one or two minutes, it’s a really simple way to reset your energy and reconnect with your intentions. 

And the reason why is that your breath is really the only function in your body which is both automatic and something that we can control, right? Like we don’t have to think about breathing, but if we want to think about it, we can control it. So take the easy wins and work with your breath for just one to two minutes every day. 

So if you’re ready to take this work deeper, and you’re looking for a bit of a space to be able to go deeper and check in with yourself, and to have a dedicated day to be with other like minded professional women who want to pause, reflect and design a strategic plan for 2025 that feels aligned with your values and your goals.

Then I want to invite you to come and join Elaine and I on the pause retreat in January.

I’m just going to spend a couple minutes here to talk about it. 

It’s going to be held on Friday the 17th of January in a beautiful, beautiful location. Here in Hong Kong, the Clearwater Bay Golf and Country Club, which the drive in and of itself, is so, so beautiful. And really, it’s an opportunity to really make sure that you don’t repeat the same year again, that next year. 

I don’t know about you, but every new year, we say to ourselves, this is the year it’s gonna be different. You know, this is the year I’m gonna go for that promotion, or I’m gonna be brave and pivot into something else, or whatever it might be, but somehow, the same routines, the stress, the patterns, they creep back in despite our best intentions. With so many priorities, constantly shifting and juggling everything in life, how can we actually move ahead with confidence and decide what comes next. Clarity, as I said, comes in a pause. 

So come and join Elaine and I on this retreat where you’ll find the proper headspace to initiate real change and a strategic reset supported by a community and two coaches for transformation that lasts beyond the journey. 

So during the day, we’re going to support you to break free from patterns that have held you back. We’re going to support you to map out your vision for a meaningful year with guided personal strategy sessions. You’re going to uncover your hidden strengths and reawaken a sense of purpose inside and cultivate practical tools to embody change so that the shift actually lasts. And the part that I’m really excited about is building powerful connections with like minded women on the same journey. 

This retreat is not just, you know, surface level self care. This is a deep dive into real change. We’re going to be supporting you with experiential learning using science backed techniques from 1000s of coaching sessions between Elaine and I. It’s going to include immersive embodiment practices for self discovery so you get to know your inner critic and build true confidence. And it’s going to offer collective growth and support alongside other women who are driven to get more out of life. 

So it’s a one day retreat, and we begin the day by driving you out to one of the most exclusive locations in Hong Kong. So you’ll leave the demands of life and enter into a really beautiful safe space. You’re completely taken care of, the transfer, coffee, tea, refreshments, lunch, all of that is provided. 

And then Elaine and I are going to guide you through a three step framework for the day. So the first framework is reset, where you’re going to get an awareness of your current state and motivations, and we’ll explore where you are today, what your priorities are, and start building that foundation for lasting change. 

Then we’ll move into reframing, so we’ll look at, okay, what is actually holding you back? How can you reframe those limiting beliefs and redefine those narratives that keep you stuck in the same place year on year? And we’ll use group insights and practical exercises to shift your mindset. 

And then finally, with reprioritise, you’ll be able to align your priorities with your goals and create a motivating, actionable plan where you’re going to leave with a crystal clear focus on what to focus on for each quarter of 2025 to build the blocks towards the life and career that you want. 

And at the very end of the day, we’re going to enjoy some beautiful sunset drinks so that we can celebrate your progress as a group, so that we can relax, connect and toast to this. You found clarity and purpose. 

So at the time that this is going live, there is an early bird promotion, so you’ll get a discount if you sign up by the 30th of November. So I’m going to pop a link to the retreat in the show notes, which you can check out over at siobhanbarnes.com/120, that’s the number 120, and I would absolutely love to invite you to join Elaine and I, as I said, if you’re here in Hong Kong, this is a no brainer, please come and join us. If you’re in the region, please consider coming out to fly and join us. We would absolutely love to have you. 

And if you live really, really further afield and it’s just a little bit too far for you, then come and send me a note, either on LinkedIn, on my email, on my Instagram. If you’re curious about the Pivot Pathfinders Collective as an opportunity to receive support to navigate your next career pivot, I’ll be more than happy to share those details and that information for you if you want to get on the wait list for when we Next open the doors. 

All right, there we have it. We’ve come to the end of today’s podcast where we’ve been speaking all about the power of pause and why it’s essential for career clarity.

In today’s episode, we spoke about why we struggle to pause, what pausing can do for your career, three simple ways to pause and gain clarity and more on the retreat, the pause retreat that Elaine and I are hosting here in Hong Kong. 

Thank you so much for tuning in, and please remember you are here for a reason beyond merely hustling, grinding and merely surviving, you matter.