Honouring Your Callings + Desires

How to make heart based career decisions without throwing all rationality out the window.

August 17, 2020

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If you’re asking if you should play it safe or play it true in your career, let’s dive into how to make heart-based career decisions without throwing all rationality and logic out the window.


But first a story…..


Before I hit “publish” on my website, I was verrryyy apprehensive about sharing the honest truth about what’s been going on behind the scenes in my business. (Side note: If you missed that post you can check it out HERE). 


Being vulnerable and honest with yourself is one thing. 


But sharing it publicly is quuuuuite another (especially for an introvert!)


In case you missed the post here’s the gist: quietly behind the scenes (for 3.5 years) I’ve been navigating my heart callings towards all things woo, spiritual and body-mind-soul aligned. 


The whole time I’ve been called to explore the intangible, energetic and alternative…my mind has been on overdrive…


….why are you wasting your time exploring this stuff? Just focus on what you’re doing. 

….are you really going to use these tools with your clients? It’s not grounded in science, is it?

…..you want to feel your emotions? Lady, we’ve got more important things to do. Get.to.work. 


But then I came across Albert Einstein’s quote:


“The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honours the servant but has forgotten the gift.”


This quote gave myself permission to trust where my intuition and heart was guiding me and let my rational mind take the back seat. 


Afterall if Albert Einstein believed this was OK, I couldn’t be that silly to listen to my callings, could I?



So many of the women I work with have a connection to their heart and their intuition, an inner knowing that’s telling them “something’s” not right….


But they shut it down because they’re rational mind tightens its grip before that inner knowing has had a chance to fully bubble up to the surface


Before you know it the next item on the to-do list is commanding attention (or their screaming child).



As busy women, we need to get shit done. Listening to our hearts and our intuition can seem very pie in the sky and wishful thinking….plus where is it going to lead you? The unknown and uncertainty can be daunting as hell. 


So naturally we squash that intuitive knowing down along with how we’re really feeling. 

Siobhan Barnes - Hong Kong Integrative Life Coach Career Coach - Neutral Decor Image20

This looks like…


….being passed over for a promotion when you’ve been doing all the things in your personal development plan. You feel pissed and feel this isn’t right (intuition) but then instead of speaking up, you doubt yourself and work extra hard to prove your “enough” (rational mind)


….instinctively saying “no” to dinner with a friend after work because your default is primary caretaker tucking the kids into bed. You know time out for you as a woman is important (intuition) but feel guilty because shouldn’t you want to stay home with your kids you barely see anyway (rational mind)?


….doing 3 people’s jobs because of cost cuts and downsizing. You’re burning out and know that this isn’t sustainable (intuition) but you rationalise that you should be grateful for making the cut to even have a job in the first place so you keep on trucking (rational mind). 


I believe your heart and your intuition is calling you for a reason and asking you to stop and listen so that you can get back on track.


But sometimes it can be really hard to stop and truly listen. 


Sound like you?


When you can honour where your heart is calling you, then you can make sure that you’re making the right decisions, action plan and strategies that will help you align your career to where you really want it to go — not just where you *think* it should go.



Let’s dive into how to listen to your heart and make heart based career decisions.


Let’s dive in!


It all starts with first getting honest and making contact with our heart wisdom in the first place.


There are 2 ways we stop ourselves from dropping into that wisdom:


I first came across the 2 ways we dissociate from our heart wisdom from my teacher Jenna Ward through her Feminine Embodiment Coaching Certification Program (where I’m now a teaching assistant and loooovvving it!)


Having a framework to understand how I was blocking my heart wisdom and intuition was a game-changer for me and I hope that it serves you too.


There are 2 key ways we squash down our intuition and heart wisdom.


Way #1: We armour up


For whatever reason we don’t want to feel. We believe a thicker skin is better for us. We believe feelings are weak or that there’s no time to wallow. This allows us to deflect how we’re really feeling and not even entertain the idea that there’s a feeling, emotion or intuitive hit there in the first place. 


For example in my corporate days, I used to move so fast and stay so busy, overpacking my schedule so there were literally zero moments for down time so that I didn’t have to get honest with how I was feeling. When anyone asked me how I was, I’d say “fine” because I was too busy to engage. Truth was, I was armouring up because of the pain I felt around feeling like a failure at work.


Reflection Question: Where in your life do you armour up and avoid really feeling what’s going on? 


Way #2: We numb out


As Brene Brown says in her book Rising Strong…


“For many of us, the first response is not to lean into the discomfort and feel our way through, but to make it go away. We do that by numbing the pain with whatever provides the quickest relief. We can take the edge off emotional pain…..with alcohol, drugs, food, sex, relationships, money, work, caretaking, gambling, affaris, relgion, chaos, shopping, planning, perfectionsim, constant change, and the Internet.” 


She goes on to say that…


“But no matter what we use, we can’t selectively numb emotions – when we numb the dark, we also numb the light.”


And you’ve gotta ask the question “Is that really living?”


Going back to Siobhan in her corporate days, I used to numb out with overworking and on the nights I did go out, I’d have way too much to drink to supress all the feels.


Reflection Question: How do YOU numb out?


Siobhan Barnes - Hong Kong Life Coach Career Coach - Hong Kong Image2

So you may be numbing and armouring up, what now?


Once you know that you may be dissociating from your heart wisdom by armouring up or numbing out. Then you can go from being unconscious to conscious i.e. you can see what you’re doing for what it is. 


This is already huge! 


After this it’s about giving yourself permission to start to feel and listen to those intuitive nudges. Making sure that you drop any judgement, guilt or shame for feeling how you feel. Because the truth is you’re human!


The key is feeling what you’re feeling and trust that you’re going to flow on through to the other side.


If you slow down and and let yourself feel the truth of your current situation, what do you feel? What does your body want you to know?


This is important to ask because…



Honouring how you’re really feeling, will tell you what’s really going on – a tender truth that’s calling you to look at – and to be integrated into whatever next step is for you. 



This is the first and crucial step of making heart based decisions, step 2 involves…


Noticing the fears and thoughts that bubble up as you let yourself meet the truth.


..and asking yourself the questions:


+ Are these thoughts true, are they even mine?

+ Is there a way I can honour my heart’s desires without taking a big risk?

+ What’s the cost of continually dishonouring your heart?

+ Is the cost something you are willing to bear?


If you’re looking for support in navigating a decision in your life and career, I’m opening up the doors to Your Soul Aligned Career….



This is an intimate group experience designed to support you in packaging your unique talents and interests into a viable, soul-aligned career direct that truly fulfils you without losing the stability you know and love.


The program is part soul searching // part soul activation // part career transition project. We meet weekly for 12 weeks to ensure that you are supported every step of the way as you reorient your life + career to where your heart and intuition is guiding you.


It’s designed to support you in feeling rock solid in who you are as a woman (your soul gifts, your desires) so that you can claim your lane, your path, your contribution and decide where you’re going next in your career and life. Doing so in a way that’s sustainable and doesn’t sacrifice your health and well-being.


This work is foundational and comes before any courses on how to build a business, how to land your dream job, or even further study for that matter (even if you have an idea of what you want to pivot into…..)


Because unless you’re rooted and grounded in who you are and WHY you’re doing what you do, you’ll always be looking for the external “thing” to fulfil you…which, as we’ve explored in this week’s experience, is not how it works.


In Your Soul Aligned Career we’ll be honouring all the necessary components required to step into who you really are, your path and purpose, your Soul Aligned Career (whilst encompassing ALL of you aka your heart-mind-body and soul) and we’ll be making sure that the Perfect Woman Imperative doesn’t put the brakes on you shining your light and being your full radiant self out there in the world!


You can read all about the program over at: https://siobhanbarnes.com/your-soul-aligned-career


With love,



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