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I’m Siobhan. That’s pronounced Shiv-On. Which rhymes with Yvonne. My friends call me Shiv, and you can do the same. I’m a mother, lover, writer and a soulful executive coach. I help women figure out why you’re here, what you’re here to do, and get to work doing it, so that you can live your life in full colour without the hustle, grind and merely surviving.

Hello!

Why You’re Restricting Yourself + How To Get Unstuck

Finding Clarity

June 29, 2021

We’re officially at the halfway mark of the year and how has it been for you?

 

In Hong Kong, we’ve had restrictions lifted slowly and progressively throughout the year. Our kids went back to full time school at the end of May (hooray!)

 

Yet with things being more “normal” – ish, I’ve noticed that I’ve been placing my own restrictions on myself….

“I want to go and try that martial arts class I’ve been eyeing up?” ….hmmm maybe I should wait a bit. 

 

“Should I rent a co-working space to break up my routine?”….hmmm maybe I should wait till things are more stable and I can definitely use it. 

 

“I want to put out a different offering in my business….but maybe I should stick to what I’ve done before?”

 

Restrictions suck. But they’re the worst, when you’re the own person doing it to yourself!

 

Can you relate?

Are you wanting to do some “thing” but restricting yourself?

 

The truth is the mind loves what’s familiar and over the past 18 months, restrictions have become familiar to a lot of us around the world. 

 

We’ve reset our parameters for what’s possible and what’s not. From the smallest things (like “Should I go out for a meal?”) to the bigger things (like stressing over life, work and grief).

 

It’s time to hit the reset button and come back to you, to get clear on what you DO want so that you can move through those restrictions and find your way through.

 

Let’s dive into:


Why You’re Restricting Yourself And How To Get Unstuck

 

Let’s be honest, the restrictions from COVID have been hard. 

 

No matter where you are in the world….my guess is that you’ve experienced some level of restrictions and constraints. 

 

Now, whilst I’m all for doing what we need to do to keep our communities safe and healthy ….I’m also mindful that we’re navigating new territory now…needing to balance how to live life AND do what we need for the community to keep everyone safe and healthy. 

 

The key question is: 

 

How do we reacclimatise to life in this new world we’re living in?

 

This blog is specifically focused on what to do when restrictions are lifting where you are in the world, but you’re finding that you’re restricting yourself….

 

Note: If there are restrictions where you are in the world, then of course please follow your own country’s guidelines.

 

Onwards!

 

Why do we restrict ourselves?

 

Important: There’s isn’t anything wrong with you if you are.

 

Our minds are hardwired for the familiar. 

 

It helps to reduce the energy we expend by keeping our decisions to a minimum.

 

For the past 18 months we’ve had to stay restricted…and the restrictions have simply become familiar and so it’s become normal to stay restricted.

 

I once heard about an experiment…. 

 

This experiment was conducted on a grasshopper.

Scientists placed the grasshopper in a glass jar and closed the top, imprisoning the grasshopper. 

 

The grasshopper did what it naturally did….it hopped up and down and tried to get out. Repeatedly. 

 

After about 15 minutes of hopping, the grasshopper stopped trying. Even after the scientists removed the top…the grasshopper didn’t bother.

I share this analogy because so many of us do this…not just after COVID but in our lives in general. 

 

Early on in life, we do what comes naturally to us (speak a truth, share a gift, show up fully) and we get met with a wall, a harsh comment, an opinion on why we can’t be ourselves and do what we want. 

 

We slowly stop showing up as ourselves, we keep a lid on our gifts, talents, true selves to stay in the jar…and fit into the mould. 

 

We put these restrictions on ourselves indefinitely. 

 

And I don’t want you nor I to have to do that anymore.

 

I want for us to lift that lid….and hop on out and get the heck on with our lives. 

 

Life is simply too short. 

 

How to get unstuck and reacclimatise to life in this new world we’re living in?

 

The path to getting unstuck is to:

 

  • Decide you’re going to do something about this and not accept the status quo
  • To see where you are as the perfect opportunity to reclaim and realign back to who you really are and why you’re really here
  • Unhook from the restrictions that have been keeping you stuck (I call this the Perfect Woman Imperative) 
  • Come back to who you really are (remembering your talents, gifts)
  • Claim what you do want, what you value, and what you want to experience
  • Take action to honour your inner callings
  • Come back to your body to practice the skill of discernment, honouring your “yes” and your “no” 
  • Learn how to dance between feeling the “dark/pain” and the “light/pleasure” so that you can experience it all

 

This is a journey of coming back to YOU.

 

At the time of writing this blog, I’m bringing together a select group of women who are ready to prioritise themselves and get crystal clear on who they really are and what they really want out of their life and work. So that they can bust through their self-imposed restrictions and claim what they want.

 

If you want to do your soul work and feel fulfilled and on-purpose…or simply want to bring more joy and radiance back into your life for the second half of the year…..getting clear on the REAL you and embodying this, is the key foundational first step. 

 

You have to know who you are, in order to “be” in a world that constantly tells us who we “should” be and what we “should” do.

 

This 6 week journey will be an opportunity to embody the REAL you, so that you can make courageous soul-aligned decisions that get you closer to your own vision of a meaningful life and career – as you define it.

 

If you’d like all the details for this special summer offering, just hit send an email to hello@siobhanbarnes.com with the words “summer special” and I’ll send you all the details.

 

You get to be the grasshopper and jump out of the jar you’ve been living in and go and do whatever the heck it is that you want.

 

I want this for you, and I want this for all of us. 

 

Before you go, I’d love to hear from you in the comments:

 

  • Are you wanting to do some “thing” in your life and career but restricting yourself?
  • What’s the one thing you can do today to get unstuck?

 

Leave a comment and let me know. 

 

With love,

Siobhan

Xoxo

 

P.S. Did you skip to the bottom? I do that too! Here’s what you need to know. In July and August 2021, I’m bringing together a select group of women who are ready to prioritise themselves and get crystal clear on who they really are and what they really want out of their life and work. 

 

This 6 week journey will be an opportunity to get clear on and embody the REAL you, so that you can make courageous soul-aligned decisions that get you closer to your vision of a meaningful life and career.

 

If you’d like all the details for this special summer offering, just hit send an email to hello@siobhanbarnes.com with the words “summer special” and I’ll send you all the details.

 

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Finding
clarity

Connecting your mind + body + soul

HOW CAN I BEST SUPPORT YOU?

Sustainable productivity + focus

Navigating transitions + tough times

Honouring your callings + desires

Untangling from fear, uncertainty + doubt

Wanna know more?

I’m Siobhan. That’s pronounced Shiv-On. Which rhymes with Yvonne. My friends call me Shiv, and you can do the same. I’m a mother, lover, writer and a soulful executive coach. I help women figure out why you’re here, what you’re here to do, and get to work doing it, so that you can live your life in full colour without the hustle, grind and merely surviving.

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