Navigating Transitions + Tough Times

3 Essential Questions To Ask Yourself Before 2020 is Over

December 15, 2020

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How’s life in your part of the world? Are you beginning to slow down?


This is my final week of work. I’m beginning to wind down and tie up loose ends before taking 2 weeks off for the holidays.


Even though this holiday season isn’t filled with many exciting plans or get-togethers….I’m looking forward to some simple down time, away from any screens with my family and closest loved ones.


Without the usual hype of Christmas, many people are finding themselves stepping into a quieter holiday season…..


Which, in my books, is a perfect opportunity to stop, reflect and ponder on all that has been in 2020. 


This reflection work is SO important before setting new year goals…


I mean, with so much unknown and uncertainty in 2021 I think traditional goal setting methods are going out the window (but more on that in January so stay tuned).  


However 2020 has been for you, I want you to acknowledge that you’re here, you made it and that you’ve traversed the ups and downs. And that is something to celebrate! 

In this week’s blog, I share 3 essential questions to ask before 2020 is over. Please use these questions to close out the year and clear the slate for a new beginning. I sure as heck feel that we need one!


If you already know that you are desiring to step into something different next year and to build out a Soul Aligned Career, then I invite you to check out Your Soul Aligned Career, an intimate group program that kicks off in January. 


It’s an intimate group experience that’s designed to support you in answering the question you may be asking…


“Is this it?” 

Siobhan Barnes 2020

“Is there something more to life than this?”


“Why am I not fulfilled when I have so much to be grateful for?”


It’s a 3 month journey ultimately designed to support you in making a KEY decision….


….A decision that could change the trajectory of your life forever.


Are you going to:


  1. Renegotiate your work and life to honour the woman you REALLY are and of your inherent worth, value and desires




  1. Package your unique talents and interests into a viable, soul aligned career direction that truly excites and fulfils you 


It’s my goal to support you in making this decision without sacrificing the stability you know and love. 


This program is part soul searching + self exploration. Part practical testing and refining your available options. 


This program marries both heart + head so that you can come back to the REAL you and what you feel called to do with your time, energy and skills. 


You can read all the details over at:


The program begins in January and the opportunity to apply closes tomorrow Wednesday 16th December. I’d love to speak and explore if this is the right fit for you and where you are in your journey. 



With that said, let’s dive in to this week’s blog


This week we’re exploring….

Blog Template (2)

The 3 essential questions to ask yourself before 2020 is over


So often in life, we can be so quick to gloss over all of our achievements, staying focused and busy on what’s still to come or yet to do.


With a quieter holiday season the reality for many of us, I wanted to share some questions to support you in stopping, reflecting, and honouring what was 2020. 


It was a big year…and with that, it requires some reflecting! 



Question #1: What are you grieving from this year?


Let’s face it, 2020 sucked. 


Many lives were lost, many people were (+ still are) separated, Mother Earth burned, flooded and typhooned her way throughout. 


We continued to see great division in our communities. 


I could go on…


There’s a lot to grieve from 2020 and pretending like there isn’t – just isn’t healthy. 


Grief is a natural human emotion and you have FULL permission to feel grief no matter what your personal experience has been in 2020. 


Whether you’re grieving loved ones or a life once been or grieving over the state of the world or for the future of your children….you are allowed to feel this. 


SO take a moment to slow down and ask what are you grieving? Let yourself feel this grief and to meet it. 


You may choose to cry, write it all out on paper, move to music, call a friend and grieve together. 


Acknowledge it. Love it. Move it. Express it. Liberate it. 


Allowing yourself to meet your grief is important before moving onto the next question….



Question #2: Despite the grief what “good” came from this year? 


The other side of grief is love. 


We cannot grieve without love. 


I had a first hand experience of this last week when my dear friend and peer Kate Leiper of The Diamond Woman Project ran an event around this. 

The Mother Matrix, was a beautiful space for mothers and nurturers to alchemise the grief of 2020 and offer an intention and desire to weave a different future.


This experience inspired me to honour my grief (hence question #1) and to acknowledge the good, the love that was also present. 

Siobhan Barnes 2020 - career coach

So for me, I grieved a few different things and through it all, I realised all the good that came…


  • An opportunity to become more intimate with my children and how they learn
  • Gratitude for the ability to receive support from my husband’s family in Australia earlier in the year, staying with my sister in law and brother in law for a month with 3 kids in tow
  • A recommitment to this soul work that I just feel so compelled and inspired to do
  • A greater ability to move past my own “stuff” and to show up, be seen, and coach
  • The opportunity to coach 40+ women across different cultures and countries and meet each and every woman with great intimacy and gift (seriously, it’s such a gift)
  • An opportunity to slow down and practice pleasure in spite of the pain and to honour the importance of this
  • Plus so much more


What about you?


In spite of what was 2020, what good came out of it for you?



Question #3: What did you learn or realise in 2020 and want to remember going forward from here?


As humans we are perfectly imperfect.


We learn by doing and through our mistakes.


2020 was an unprecedented time and as such, we all had to find our way and adapt to new ways of being…


Even if we feel annoyed, angry, frustrated or maybe even guilty for making the wrong choices and decisions….there is a lesson in it. 


What is the lesson here for you?


What is the gold waiting for you to take on the next leg of your journey?


For example, this year I, along with most mums, ran the wave of homeschooling and having to figure out kids getting their education along with work. 


I got so much wrong. I got annoyed. I cried. I felt frustrated. I was not always a patient and loving mum (like I hoped I would be).


Through the experience I learned what really matters….


  • Honouring my kids pace with learning and honouring their rhythms, interests and needs – rather than just getting everything “done”
  • That my own desires and dreams with my life and work matter – and that I desire and deserve the space and time to do this TOO
  • I learned to strip back all the “shoulds” and “have to’s” and to focus on what really matters 
  • Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries
  • To ask for help and clearly communicate what I need + desire
  • Plus so much more


As we bring 2020 to a close I’m choosing to remember all of the above. 


The grief, the good and the lessons. 


Doing a review doesn’t have to be a big exercise, though you can absolutely ritualise and make it so if you desire. 


My hope and intention is that these 3 questions will support you to close out 2020 with a sense of peace and closure.

Siobhan Barnes - Hong Kong Life Coach Career Coach - Coffee Shop Image2

Here’s a quick recap of those 3 questions again:


Question 1: What are you grieving from this year?

Question 2: Despite the grief what “good” came from this year? 

Question 3: What did you learn or realise in 2020 and want to remember going forward from here?


Before you’d go, I’d love for you to leave a comment and let me know:


What’s your answer to question 3?


  • What did you learn or realise from 2020 that you are remembering as you enter into 2021?


Please leave a comment and let me know. 


If you are desiring to step into a Soul Aligned Career next year, I invite you to join me in the Your Soul Aligned Career Experience. 


The doors are currently open and you are so welcome to join me and a small intimate group of women who are ready to step into a meaningful life + career that matters. 


You can read all the details over at


I’d love to speak to you and explore where you’re desiring to take your life and work and see if it’s the right fit for you and where you are on your journey. 


With love,




P.S Applications for Your Soul Aligned Career are open. I personally speak to every student to ensure that the program is the right for each individual and the group. 


If this program speaks to you go to to make an application and schedule your no-obligation call. Alignment is a core value of mine so if it’s aligned or not aligned, I will tell you 🙂  

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